Turdrific Tuesday...The Return

It's been a few weeks since I awarded steaming turds to those who deserve them on this, the shittiest of days. Here goes.

-Peyton Manning and the Colts

Frauds. Ass clowns. Choke artists. Call them whatever you like, I'm sure it fits. I don't give a shit that we won't see the Colts get thumped by New England, I'm more upset due to gambling purposes.

Quite simply, they fucked me and fucked me hard. You'd think the defending Super Bowl champs could cover two points for me at home (they were part four of a teaser) but noooo.

Peyton probably had visions of Double Stuff Oreos and his brother's tongue dancing in his head. Douchebag.

-The NCAA

Apparently, they want to show John Wooden the meaning of respect. The man is 97 years old! If anything done here were illegal (and nothing was, see the article, he's a paid consultant,) he should just use the Uncle Leo approach.


"I'm an old man! I'm confused!"

What a bunch of bullshit the NCAA is. Just pay the kids already and get it over with.

-Oscar de la Hoya

According to Kevin Iole (how his last name is pronounced, I have no idea) from Yahoo the Golden Boy will drag his fishnets into the ring to fight Floyd Mayweather yet again.

Really? Really really? We already saw this fight, you assholes. It sucked and sucked hard. What motivation do either of these guys have to fight hard? I know if I had a guaranteed $20 million payday I'd shy away from getting my face caved in as well.

If boxing were smart, which it isn't, they'd give the loser a ride to the hospital and nothing else, with the winner earning a bonus and maybe a blowjob or two from the ringside girls for a knockout.

Anyone want to put a hit out on Don King and Bob Arum?

-PacMan Jones

Big surprise, this moron is in trouble again. Couldn't he have made it a little more interesting? I feel like he's getting typecast, there are only so many altercations one can get into at the strip club.

PacMan clearly isn't living up to his potential. I know he can do better/worse.

-the hostess at Goa in Los Angeles who fucked over Rod Benson

Simply not cool. Holy shit, do I hate LA. Stories like this put me in a foul mood. As my dad used to say when fighting traffic on our bi-annual trip to see Notre Dame get stomped by USC, "they should nuke this place."

-Congress

Enough already, we get it. Steroids are bad. Steroids are terrible. Steroids are the scourge of society as we know it. Can't we just move on?

I'm so sick of it. Now Tejada is in trouble or some bullshit. How about Palmeiro? Didn't he and his mustache lie under oath as well? The whole charade is tired and any public relations gain made by going after these guys is now slim to none.

Go back to fucking your interns and giving blank checks to W. Assholes.

Posted by McLane at 12:44 PM