The blogosphere's prodigal son and shining beacon of light, Will Leitch, wrote a bit today for his old site. The subject was the Arizona Cardinals, their upcoming season and the incredibly consistent mediocrity both in the front office and at the quarterback position.
The piece is good and I'd recommend reading it. All except for this little thought bubble (bolded) from Leitch, which had me teetering on the edge of a blind rage induced, statewide puppy slaughtering spree:1990
I'm perturbed because first of all, as any self-respecting nerd should know, it's Tecmo Super Bowl. There's no such thing as Super Tecmo Bowl.
Timm Rosenbach, 16 games, 16 starts
The Joe Bugel era begins! Rosenbach starts every game and doesn't have a terrible year, thanks largely to a receiving core of Ernie Jones, Ricky Proehl and Roy Green. The defense was horrible, though, and a 31-0 opening loss to Bugel's old Redskins set the tone for the whole year. However: This is the team that was featured in Super Tecmo Bowl, and it was pretty solid, all considered. Johnny Johnson was unnaturally fast and had three whole running plays, though the game mistakenly labeled him as white.
More importantly, the Cardinals are simply awful in the game. They suck. I hate them. I hate them. I HATE THEM.
While an above average safety (Tim McDonald,) decent back (Johnny Johnson...kinda white,) and solid receivers (Ricky Proehl and Roy Green) usually add up to a chance to do some damage in Tecmo Super Bowl, the default plays decide otherwise. If you're playing two player straight up, without changing plays, the way the Tecmo Gods intended, the Cardinals incredible sucktitude is unmatched.
Play action, flea flickers, fake reverses, and reverses don't get it done in the rough and tumble world of Tecmo Super Bowl. With but one halfway decent pass play and four worthless run plays, the Cardinals are doomed to the trash heap of the game and Tim McDonald is sentenced to more time on the field than any All-Pro safety has ever endured.
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